A Month and a Half Later

I'm so sorry that I have not posted for awhile.  I was hoping that I would have an interesting update or news when I posted again, but I really don't.

Our family has spent the past month and a half grieving and praying and trying to decide what to do next.  We had some time together with our church family after James died and a small memorial service for just family.  We also planted another tree.  So we now have the catalpa tree on the west side of the house for Samuel and an apple tree on the north side of the house for James.

Two days ago, I was finally able to pack up the clothes that we had hanging in the closet waiting for our little guy to come home.  That was pretty much awful.  I was so disappointed that I had washed all of the clothes that James had worn when Nate was with him in Liberia.  I wanted to have something of his that hadn't been washed.  So I was incredibly thankful two weeks ago, when Nate found a little washcloth in one of his suitcases that James had used that had never been unpacked.  I know it probably sounds silly, but it is such a gift to have that.

So where do we go from here?  What happens next?  We still really want to adopt a medical needs child from Liberia. Although we did not originally seek out this country, now that Nate has visited and fallen in love with it, we really want to continue to pursue it.  We just don't know when or how.

We've come to a decision that we do not want to continue working with the orphanage that James and Samuel were in. I certainly don't blame them for the boys' deaths, thats not it at all.  We've just had an extremely difficult time communicating with them.  I don't doubt their heart for the children, I am just so tired of having to fight our way through all of the miscommunication and frustration of working with them.  For that reason, we just can't continue with them.

Financially for us, this whole thing has been a leap of faith.  And I just want to cry when I think of the leap of faith some of you took to support us with your own money.  Our home study and I600A application fees with immigration are not "child specific" and can be used for a different child.  However, if we were going to move forward to adopt a child today, from our current vantage point, it would be insurmountable financially.  We were pursuing a legal guardianship with James and Samuel, which we got, but which was full of difficulties when it came to U.S. immigration.  We just aren't willing to go through that fight again. So next time, we want to pursue a full on adoption from the get go. This is more costly, however.

BUT, that doesn't mean we won't be able to afford it some time in the future.

With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. 
Matthew19:26

Nate and I both feel very at peace about just sitting here for a bit and waiting.  Waiting until we figure out exactly where we feel God wants us next.  Waiting for God's perfect timing. We don't feel discouraged, but hopeful and even excited to see what that is going to look like!

So thank you again for all of your support, financially and emotionally.  This whole thing has been just crazy sad.  What I wouldn't give to hold James and Samuel in my arms RIGHT NOW... to just snuggle them up and love them to pieces!!  But there is nothing we can do except learn the lessons we've learned and to keep alive this new perspective we have on life.  We have so much and so many people have so little.  We are blessed with much, but we are also responsible for much!

Also, if anyone has any specific questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  I know a lot of people have hesitated to ask questions for fear of being nosy or making us sad, but we are really fine to talk about it, so don't be shy.

Sadness

I was able to speak with orphanage staff today.  They didn't really have any new details for me, but I needed to ask them to basically repeat our conversation from yesterday, as I really don't remember anything she told me.

Last week, Monday, James was throwing up a little bit. They did call and tell us about this, but at that time they had been feeding him a chocolate flavored Ensure that they thought may be upsetting his stomach.  Later that day, James pulled his tube out and was brought into the hospital to have it replaced and then sent home.
Wednesday he started vomiting again, they brought him in to the hospital and were told that he was fine and likely had a touch of the flu.

He seemed better, but Sunday night he started vomiting again and his nanny noticed drainage and blood seeping from around his feeding tube. She also said he just wasn't acting right.  They brought him in around 4am and hospital agreed to keep him for observation.  Orphanage staff found out that when his tube was replaced on Monday, the hospital had not had the right sized tube and had to place a smaller tube in.

Orphanage staff left around 8am to attend a meeting and then returned at 11am and stayed for about a half an hour. They said he seemed weak and sick, but was alert and smiled and didn't seem like he was in that bad of shape.  At 1pm the hospital called them and said he had died.  They didn't have a reason, they just said he had failed and died.  No bizarre drainage, no bleeding, nothing outwardly wrong.  He just died.

Thank you so much for your support.  The texts, emails, calls, flowers, meals and love are overwhelmingly generous.  We know we are not going through this alone.  Ultimately, we need to continue to place our faith in Jesus and continue to hope for His love to cover this often sad world.

Oh Heaven Help Us

I can't articulate this well, but just need to lay out the facts so you know.

I received a call from the orphanage director.  James passed away today.  We knew that he had been vomiting the past couple of days, but it had been thought that it was a certain flavor of Ensure they had been giving him.

It turns out it must have been something different.  He was brought into the hospital, but there really wasn't much they can do and we don't know for sure what happened.  I wasn't in a great state of mind when I heard the details.  I will be talking to orphanage staff again when I am in a better place to process things and will hopefully know more then.

Reality is, that this is what happens in third world countries.  FOR REAL, THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN DIE EVERYDAY FROM THINGS THAT WE CAN FIX WITH A SIMPLE TRIP TO A CLINIC OR URGENT CARE.  It's just not fair and it totally stinks.

Nate and I are so thankful that he got to spend time with James in Liberia.  You would think that would make it harder since Nate bonded with him, but somehow it makes it MUCH easier.

I almost wish I hadn't started this blog so that people wouldn't be following our story and wouldn't have to feel this sadness.  Thanks for loving us.

I600A Approved

We found out yesterday that our I600A was approved on Monday by USCIS.  Woohoo!!  The I600A approves Nate and I to adopt, but we are now waiting on the I600.  That will approve James to be able to immigrate to the US and be adopted here.  We are sooooo close!!!!!!

The I600 could be approved today or in two weeks or in two months.  I have no idea!!!!  But we are thankful that things are moving forward!

Just Waiting

We are in that waiting stage again.  There is absolutely nothing for me to do, but sit back and wait for others to do stuff!

We received notification that USCIS received our I600A (which is our application to be approved to bring an orphan to the US.) It is not approved yet, but they have received it and have begun processing it.  Now that we have that notification, I was able to contact Klobuchar's office so they can begin to attempt to expedite the procedure.

I also received word from Klobuchar's office that we can submit our I600 now as well.  The I600 is the application for James to be allowed to be adopted into the United States.  Originally, I was thinking that we needed to have our I600A approved before we submitted our I600, but a representative from Klobuchar's office checked into that for us and was told that we can submit the I600 now before our I600A is apporved.

So I sent off our I600 along with all the supporting documentation to the USCIS office today and hoped that I had filled it out and understood it all correctly!!

I haven't heard much on the Liberian side of things since they received our home study, so I also sent off an email to them as well to get an update on the process.

Now all we can do is sit and pray and wait and pray!!!!  Hopefully Nate will be packing soon for another trip!!

Home Study Complete and Sent!!

Our home study is complete!  It is being sent to USCIS (immigration) today and I emailed a copy of it to Liberia.

I also contacted Senator Klobuchar's office to help us expedite the approval of our I-600A.  The I-600A can typically take about 3 months to be approved, but we are hoping for much quicker!!

For those who don't know, the I-600A is the document that will give Nate and I approval to bring an orphan into the country.  It does not specifically approve James to come in to the country.  That approval will be the next step after our adoption is complete in Liberia.

Please pray for a quick process through the courts in Liberia and a quick approval from USCIS!

Thank you!!

Who Is This Chubby Little Boy?

We received this picture today. Check out the cheeks on James!! I hardly  recognized him! The orphanage was able to get a high calorie feeding for him and it is obviously working well!

We were excited to receive this update  and thought that would be all we would hear from the orphanage today, but nope!

I received an email around 7:30 this evening from the orphanage director asking me to call her ASAP. There was also a missed call from her on my phone. My heart just dropped and I tried not to freak out as I anticipated the worst. 

It turns out that little James pulled his feeding tube out this afternoon!! He had to be brought to the hospital and had it reinserted. It all went well, though, and he is back in the orphanage tonight. Hopefully he learned his lesson and won't do that again :). 

Background Check Complete! (posted by Nate)

Christina called me a few minutes ago to inform me that our background check is complete! What this means is that the homestudy is also essentially complete. All that is needed now are a few signatures from staff at the homestudy organization. This is a huge answer to prayer, as this background check had the realistic potential of taking a couple months.

Big pat on the back to Christina, for the great work she did getting all this submitted. All I had to do was show up at the sheriff's office and get my fingerprints taken!

Also, I doubt Peter from Senator Julianne Ortman's office is reading this, but thank you (to Peter) for contacting the Department of Health, yesterday, to request that the background check be expedited.

Moving forward: The estimate, now, is that the homestudy will be ready to be sent off to immigration and Acres of Hope some time next week.

God continues to move the process for James along. Thank you God!

Home study ALMOST done!

Our home study is completely typed up and ready to go once our background checks come back.  Our applications for checks were submitted 7 days ago.  These can take up to 8 weeks, but our agency received notification that ours was put into processing today, so we are hoping that is a good sign that it will go quickly!!

I wanted to give a quick update on our fundraising.  As of today we have received $4200 towards Samuel and James.  We are blown away by this blessing.  We could not do this if it were not for your generous hearts.  During our home study, our social worker asked us about our support system and whether or not those around us approve of our decision to adopt.  LOL!!  That was an easy question to answer!!

I received word from the orphanage today that James is doing well and has gained about a pound in the last month!  Praise God for that!!  We are hoping to get a few new pictures of him in the next couple of days.

I'm just so happy that things are moving in the right direction!

Plan B (or C or D or E... I don't know, I've lost track :)

Basically, nothing has gone the way we thought it was going to go since last April when we first heard about Samuel. We have been through many ups and downs and uncertainties. We have definitely learned that we are NOT in control.

 So, new plan. This time we go into it with the full realization that it may not work out the way we hope, but that doesn't mean that we still don't hope!! We must continue to hope and pray that this will work out, all for the glory of God. This is big picture stuff that we are living in right now and we can't get bogged down in the fact that the details are not going our way.  We are going to move ahead with adopting James now. We had hoped to adopt him at some point, but the goal initially was just to get him to the US so he could obtain medical care. We have decided not to pursue further attempts with immigration attorneys to possibly get him home more quickly. There are just so many uncertainties there and we don't want to waste any time, money or energy on something that we feel will likely not be successful.

 So we have had a busy week getting everything in order. I have been working with a wonderful home study agency, who has been very helpful and has been moving very quickly on our behalf. We already had the social worker in our house this week to start with the homestudy. With their help, the homestudy should hopefully go quickly.

The one hold up will be our background check. We just had a background check done in December when we were licensed as foster parents, but we still need to complete a new one. These backgroud checks will sometimes take up to a month to get results back. Our homestudy will not be complete until our background check is in. Please pray for a quick background check and that we will be able to somehow expedite this portion of the process. Once the homestudy is complete, then we apply with USCIS (immigration) for a preapproval for an orphan visa.

 At the same time that we are waiting for immigration approval, our homestudy will go to the Liberian courts to process our adoption. This process could normally take up to three months, but we are very hopeful that our immigration process may be able to be shortened due to James' medical needs.

 Once we have USCIS approval and once the Liberian courts have completed our adoption then Nate will travel to Liberia (again) and we will have a US Embassy appointment (again)in Liberia to obtain an orphan immigrant visa.

 So, that's OUR plan! Now let's all watch and see what actually happens :) Thank you all for your love and support!!!

A note from Nate

First off, I'd like to thank my wife, Christina, for her great work on this blog. I'm back from Liberia (returned Thursday at 5pm) and was impressed to read all of the detailed updates she posted while I was with James in Monrovia. As I read her blog entries, I find myself reliving the stress and heartache of battling both physically and spiritually to try and bring home our newest child; an amazing boy who needs life saving surgery.

I also want to point out that I know it had to have been difficult for Christina, stuck in Minnesota, with no way to help me in my attempts to secure a visa for James. She was a constant support via text and phone during my two week "vacation" while taking care of our three busy children.

Normally, Christina is the one to write these posts but given the fact that I was the one in Liberia, we thought it'd be good for me to write a note.

I feel like I could write a book after this experience, but for your sake I'll try and highlight the key questions people have been asking:

Q: Why was James not allowed to come back with me?
A: His visa was denied (twice). While I was extremely hurt and upset with the U.S. embassy employee who denied it, I've since learned that it was a blessing in disguise that he made the decisions he did. I was informed yesterday that had Jame's tourist/medical visa been approved, it would have made it  much more difficult for us to eventually adopt him. How horrible would that have been? The embassy could not legally or ethically approved the visa we were attempting to get. There was no way to prove he would be coming to the U.S., without intent to help him immigrate to our country.

Q: Why would the adoption agency have directed us to come to Liberia and attempt to bring James back under this type of Visa, when it would have ruined our chances of adopting him?
A: I believe there was some major misunderstanding in the info that was communicated to the legal rep for the agency. This was the first time the agency tried to go this route with adoption. I don't believe they had any bad motives - I just think there were some communication issues.

Q: Would I, Nate, do this trip/experience over again, had I known it would not work out?
A: Yes! While it was heartbreaking and horrible coming home without James, knowing his need for medical care, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to bond with him. To go from the first couple days, when he didn't want to be near me - to the final days, when he laughed with me, cried with me, insisted on sleeping next to me in bed (instead of the pack and play), etc - it was something I will never forget. I thank God for allowing me to bond with James, meet his birth mom, and experience the country and culture he comes from. I wish, of course, there had been some way I could have known the visa would not work out - this would have saved me a ton of stress while in Liberia - but again - had I known - I probably would not have traveled, and bonded with him.

Q: The U.S. embassy says on their website that Liberia is dangerous. Was it?
A: No. The Liberian men and women, (and children) I met were some of the nicest people you could ever meet. I walked the streets after dark more than once, and did not feel the least bit nervous. Traffic was often horrible, but no one got mad at each other. My entire time there, I only saw people angry with eachother on two occasions. One of those was in the midst of a traffic accident. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was the way everyone - and I mean everyone - would stop and stare at me when I was out walking. It was a bit creepy.

Q: Did you get sick?
A: No! I ate a number of things Americans are advised not to eat (e.g. fish, lettuce, water) and never once felt the least bit ill.

Q: How were the mosquitos?
A: I've been bitten 5 times since arriving home (including once while typing this blog entry). In Liberia - only once!

Q: What was James like?
A: He is strong willed! Despite his inability to talk (due to his injury) he does not hesitate to make it known one way or another when he , wants or needs something. He is handsome, and serious. He is shy, but will shake hands with strangers. He likes sugar (especially lollipops and sugar cubes). He likes to cuddle, and be held. He also loves stroller rides along the beach. I got a glimpse of his humor, my last day in Liberia. I put some headphones on and pretended to dance. He tipped his head back and laughed a broken laugh, clapping his hands.

Q: What was James initial response when meeting me?
A: He didn't want to be near me. He cried. He was upset. I was a scary looking white guy!

Q:  What are the next steps?
A: We will be pursuing the adoption route. Our local senators will be helping us speed up the process. As to when we expect the process to be complete, we are not sure. I'm hoping by the end of summer. Please pray for us!

Q: How can you help?
A: Prayer is always greatly appreciated, and our #1 request. Now that we will have to go back to Liberia again, soon, that adds added expenses

(travel is not cheap) so prayer that more financial help will come in is awesome.

Q: Highlights in Liberia?
A: I'll type those up in my next blog entry! James was the biggest, of course!

Thank you everyone for your prayers. I often felt like it was a spiritual battle. I don't believe Satan wants this awesome little man to join our family, or get the medical care he needs. I felt your prayers, and experienced cool things like seeing a gross infection around James' feeding tube completely disappear within 24 hours. It's nice to be home, and tough to be away from James...

God bless.


Nate

I Hate This

Nate is on his way home without James.  I honestly didn't think it would come to this, but this is how it ended up. 

We will spend the next couple of days figuring out our next steps.  We could try to fight this whole visa thing and hire an immigration attorney.  But we have no idea what the result would be and it could end up wasting valuable time and money.  It may be that our best option is to go through the full adoption process for James right now.  That will take awhile, which is why we didn't chose that route to begin with.  We didn't want to waste time, especially after Samuel's death.  

Ultimately, I have to remember that James is one of God's precious children.  I know that the nannies at the orphanage love him and will give him the best care that they can.

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. We could not get through this without you.

I Would Like This Nightmare To End Please

So much going on.  So much to process.  So much of a rollercoaster.

Nate, Wayne and Shannon were told today that James and Shadrack's visas were denied because their case wasn't "compelling" enough to warrant this type of visa.  Nate asked him "You mean the fact that my son might die isn't compelling enough to grant him this visa?"  And the answer was no. Nate and Wayne and Shannon had taken the boys to the US Embassy doctor, who issued them a medical report saying these boys need to leave the country ASAP.  The consulate who looked at their case didn't even look at these reports.  He was the same consulate who denied James' visa the first time.

So we felt devastated and trapped.  The only thing left for me to do was to contact Amy Klobuchar and Al Franken's office.  Thank you sweet sister Catie for starting that process for me when I was paralyzed in sadness!! We have an emergency file pending with them and are praying for a last minute miracle!!!  Their offices were extremely helpful and have all of our information to contact the embassy with.  Thank you to all of our friends who called and emailed and got them to take us seriously right away!  No need to call their offices any more, as they are working on it, but if you feel like emailing them in support of us, go for it!!

Nate will still be arriving home on Thursday regardless of what happens.  If James is issued a visa after Nate leaves, then Roosevelt from the orphanage will bring him to the US.  We will also be meeting with immigration office in St Paul once Nate arrives home and work on applying for a different visa if need be.

So why is this happening?  Shouldn't all of this have been figured out before we even got to Liberia?  YES!!!  I am extremely displeased with James' orphanage. They insist that the US Embassy told them that this was the process to take to get these kids to the US.  However, the embassy denies saying that.  I had asked the orphanage director and deputy director SO MANY TIMES if the embassy situation was worked out and they INSISTED that it was.

But there is really no use pointing fingers or placing blame.  We are in this situation now and there is no turning back.  We can throw blame around all we want, but that won't get James home.

Some may ask "Where is God in all of this?"  "Why isn't God answering our prayers to bring James home?"  We have to look at this from a big picture perspective.  This world doesn't revolve around us and there is more to this situation then we can see or understand. We so badly want what we want, when we want it, but there truly is an eternal plan at work and God has more work He wants done in this situation.  We may not understand it and we certainly don't like it, but we can praise God that He continues to be at work.

"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28  We must hold firmly to this!!!

I got to talk to James again today... this time he talked back AND Nate said he smiled.  I was pretty much useless with tears for about an hour after that.  My poor kids think their mama has gone crazy.  Good thing Grandpa and Grandma are here to fill in the parenting gaps!

Visa Denied

Visa denied again. I haven't heard why yet, haven't talked to Nate yet, just heard over text.  All we can do is pray for a miracle.  Not sure what the plan is from here.

A Couple of Pictures

I haven't received any pictures from Nate in Liberia yet, so I was THRILLED to see these on Facebook when I woke up this morning!!!!!  

It warms my heart to see these photos, but also instills in me a new sense of urgency to get that little boy home. Tomorrow will be a big day.

Taking a break from adoption business, Nate was able to go out and do a little sightseeing yesterday.  He said at one point he was climbing up stairs in an eight story hotel that had been destroyed by war.  I wasn't so thrilled with that report, but glad to know he was out having a little fun!  He also took a little walk down to the market to chat with some new friends he had made and I assume he is continuing to enjoy this...

Today will hopefully be a day of relaxation and preparation for his big day tomorrow. 

 I love you Nate!!!  You are an amazing husband and father!!  I miss you and am so proud of you!!!

Text From Nate

I wanted to share this text I received from Nate this morning.

"Thanks to everyone who has been praying.  I feel your prayer.  James' cough has improved and the feeding tube infection disappeared in 24 hours!  Things are coming together and for the first time, there is a real optimism on this working out.  Joy and peace.  Please keep praying, it's making a big difference."

Blessed Hope

We are hoping that this 4th of July will be our best ever!  I am in the process of changing Nate and James' return flight to Wednesday, which would have them home on Thursday.  We got the news we needed today to keep this process moving.  There continue to be no guarantees, but there is a great amount of hope from Nate, Wayne, Shannon and the orphanage staff.  

There will be meetings with various people on Monday and Tuesday.  We should know by the end of Tuesday what the final word will be about the visa.

Nate has James pretty much full time now.  He has spent the last two nights with Nate at the guesthouse and they continue to be more comfortable with each other.  Yesterday, Nate spent quite a while pushing James in his stroller up and down the beach.  James loved it and pointed to go outside for more when Nate brought him back in the house. 

Nate said James can stand and can kind of walk, but really doesn't like to.  He doesn't say many words, but uses lots of hand motions to communicate what he wants.  He will lift up his shirt and expose his feeding tube when he is hungry, I think that is sooo cute!!

We have a bit of a long weekend ahead of us.  Nothing will happen in the visa process until Monday, but I am hoping that Nate and James will enjoy a couple days of "down time" to just enjoy Liberia together.

Thank you all for your encouraging words and texts.  We will continue to look to our eternal blessed hope, our God and Savior,  Jesus Christ.  Some who read this may not share in that blessed hope and may discount it as foolishness, but I have never felt more confident in Him in my life.  My confidence and belief in God doesn't make him more powerful, but through the Holy Spirit, it makes me more powerful.  Thank you Jesus.

New Plan

OK, I am going to keep this blog post relatively general. I'm not really sure why, but just due to the sensitive nature of our situation I don't want to say anything or unknowingly insult someone who may be involved in this process.  Not that I really have anything insulting to say or think that government officials are actually reading my blog, but I just feel the need to tread carefully.

First things first, Nate and James will not be coming home together on Monday evening like originally planned. Tomorrow a new plan will be developed.  We will find out that either a) there is a good possibility (but not a guarantee) that Nate and James will be able to come home next Thursday, or b) that Nate will need to come home without James on Monday and we will have to beat cheeks to complete the full adoption process on him before we can bring him home.

So please, prayers for tomorrow.

If things don't go well tomorrow, I will explain what is all happening.  But if things go well tomorrow, I will likely not go into details about it on the blog until Wednesday evening.

Nate continues to build his bond with James, and has earned some smiles, which hopefully helps ease his physical and emotional exhaustion with the process. The kids and I are staying at my parents, trying to keep them occupied and distracted from the stress. Thank you Andrea Salzer for taking them today! I'm doing my best to support Nate via texts and phone calls. Not a lot of sleep for any of us, but always focused on bringing our sweet James home.

Thank you all for your continued support.

Big Setback

The good news today was that they were able to get in for a visa appointment.  The bad news is that the US Embassy in Liberia denied James' and Shadrack's visas.  

Devastating blow to this whole process, but we will not lose hope!  Roosevelt, the deputy director of the orphanage, has arrived in Liberia and has already made many phone calls to try to clear this up. It's time for us to pray for a miracle!!  I have felt amazing hope and peace today and all glory to God for that!!  I refuse to be beaten down or discouraged.  James WILL come home to us, its just not going to be easy.

A moment to send a huge thank you to Erica Allen, April Engen and Katie Barden.  All three of you blessed me and encouraged me in amazing ways yesterday!  I need you to know that I would not have been able to take this news well today had it not been for my interactions with each of you!  Thank you for allowing God to use you to strengthen me.

I spoke to James on the phone today.  I got to hear him breathe and cough and it brought me to tears. Oh how I want to snuggle him right up in my arms!!  It's physically painful to not be there, Nate was able to share so many more things about James today and how they have made amazing progress in how well James will respond to him.  James' birth mother continues to prove what an amazing woman she is, as she has been obviously trying so hard to encourage James and Nate's relationship.  Imagining the strength that must take breaks me.

So, honestly, it stinks big time.  But there is room here for God to move his mighty hand and I believe that He will.    

Getting Closer!

I have not spoken with Nate today, but I did receive a text of his day's highlights.  I'm dying for more details, but I know he will contact me when he can!

He had another chance to meet with James and his birth mom.  It sounds like James was still pretty shy and cried a lot.  Late on, he had an opportunity to take James back to the guesthouse and spend some time just the two of them.  Nate said that went well and James seemed comfortable with him.

They finally made it to the bank today to pay for the visa, but the bank's system was down so they were unable to get the confirmation number they needed to go to the Embassy.  It sounds like they should be able to get the confirmation numbers early morning tomorrow and still make it to the Embassy and try to get the visas.  Once that visa is in hand, then we are all set!!

Please pray that everything goes well tomorrow.  Not so much for our sake, but for Wayne and Shannon's.  They are scheduled to leave tomorrow evening, but won't be able to if they don't have their baby's visa!  Nate isn't scheduled to leave until Sunday, so he will have a few more days to try to work it out if for some reason this doesn't go as planned.

Thanks so much for checking in on the updates!  So sweet to know so many people care!

The Best Laid Plans....

So, pretty much none of the things that were supposed to happen today did! But its not all bad!

Rebecca was supposed to pick Nate, Wayne and Shannon up between 12 and 1pm today.  Around 2pm, Nate texted me and said she had not shown up yet and the bank closes at 4pm.  Shortly after Nate texted me, he went into his room to lie down.  Wayne came and knocked on his door around 3pm to let him know Rebecca and Georgia (the social worker) had arrived.  Nate came out to the living room to find several women sitting on couches, but didn't notice at first that there was a small boy sitting there as well.  James!!! And his birth mom!!  Both just sitting there on the couch!  We did not think Nate was going to have the chance to meet her, but were so hoping that he would.  The visit lasted about 20 minutes. Nate said it went really well and that James is such a sweet, shy little guy.  He wasn't quite sure what to think of Nate and cried when he tried to hold him.  But as they left, James waved "bye bye" and seemed to be warming up to Nate. They will have another visit tomorrow!

By the time the visit ended it was too late to go to the bank.  We found out later that the paperwork wasn't ready for them to go to the bank anyway. No visit to the embassy then either because bank trip needs to happen first. Praying that everything will be in order for tomorrow and that they can get to the bank tomorrow.  The embassy is closed tomorrow so that appointment will have to wait until Wednesday.

Nate is really enjoying his visit in Liberia.  He had a chance to walk down to the market today, play soccer and hand out Snickers bars to kids, give away some DJ Splash CDs and give two men bibles.  He is loving the hot weather and the wonderful people.

And here's a TOTALLY crazy "God thing!"  Our old pastor from Brooklyn Park Evangelical Free Church, Rick Ensrud, is staying at the same guesthouse as Nate.  Crazy!!!  Apparently he does some discipleship training and travels there a few times a year.

So all in all, a pretty good day.  We had some moments when we were feeling very discouraged that the bank and embassy business did not get done.  But we know flexibility is mandatory in international adoption and there are some things that are completely out of our control.  Honestly, I shed a few tears of frustration today, but am hopeful for a better day tomorrow!

Plan For Tomorrow

Nate called me at 3:45pm this afternoon (8:45pm Liberian time) and it was SO good to hear his voice!  He reported that he was pretty sick of airplanes, hadn't slept much during the trip and was looking forward to a good night sleep.  But he was excited to be there and was very pleased with the guesthouse he will be staying at!  It's right on the beach and there are huge, loud waves crashing against the shore. Beautiful!

The flights all went off without a hitch once he left Minneapolis.  He arrived at the Liberian airport and described it as a "little sketchy", but had no problem finding many people to help him with his bags.  Apparently an argument broke out amoung some gentlemen about who got to take care of Nate's bags and Nate ended up paying a total of $20 to various men to try to please everyone.  Oh well, they obviously need the money more then he does! 

The ride from the airport to the guesthouse was about an hour and uneventful.  Nate said the drive was pretty much what he expected.  Lots of houses with thatched roofs and many little children playing along the road.

The plan tomorrow is for Rebecca (who will be the person driving Nate) to pick up Nate and bring him to the bank, where he needs to make his payment for James' visa.  Then they will go to the US Embassy and will schedule an appointment to come back later in the week to get the visa.  This process appears to be easier said then done, so prayers needed please!!

After visiting the Embassy and getting the business end of things out of the way, they will go to JFK hospital and meet James!!!!!!!  Oh joy!!!!!!  Nate will take him back to the guesthouse and they will get to know each other a bit and then Nate will take him back to the hospital for the night.  I told Nate to tell James that his mommy loves him and will meet him soon!!!  I soooo wish I was with Nate right now, but I know it was the best decision for me to stay home with the other kids.  It's probably a lot easier for Nate too that I am not with him :)  I have had the tendency to get a little uptight and anxious during this process, so probably best that he doesn't have to deal with me!!  It's just so hard to not be there!!!

I will update tomorrow after I hear a report from Nate.  I know I will be waiting with GREAT anticipation to hear EVERYTHING!!!!

He Has Arrived!

Nate just landed in Monrovia, Liberia!  I received a text from him about 10 minutes ago saying he was safely to his destination!  Nothing else to report yet... but I am so excited I just had to share!!

He Is Off!

Just got off the phone with Nate. He is about to leave Chicago and head to Brussels.  He had a few minor hiccups with travel, but it all worked out.  Nate's flight from Minneapolis to Chicago was delayed so there was a period of time when we thought he may miss his connecting flight!  Thankfully, he was able to get on a different flight to Chicago and made it in plenty of time. 

He also had a little problem with his carry on bags.  We had put a few things in for James that were prohibited items, so he had to check it and it cost some additional cash. 

We have been hearing from our friends Wayne and Shannon, who arrived in Liberia a few days ago, that the visa application process with the embassy is not going smoothly at all. They are there to pick up their little baby.  Please pray for them, as it appears that things have been very stressful since they arrive.  They are scheduled to leave on Wednesday and there is uncertainty as to whether they will be able to get everything cleared up by then.  Our visa process for James will be the same as theirs, so we are feeling a little nervous about it. We are hoping that things will be smoothed out by the time Nate arrives, but the unknowns are causing some anxiety for all of us!  We are hoping that the worst case scenario is that Nate would need to delay his trip home.  Please God, let that be the very worst case!

This has been such a different process then our first adoption.  Everything was very organized and step by step and pretty darn easy.  We worked with an agency in the US, so it was so much easier to get answers to questions and help when we needed it.  This is a completely different situation.  We are hoping the end result will be the same, but I am pretty sure the process has taken 10 years off my life!

We continue to thank God for the way He has provided for us during all of this.  There have been moments when I am giddy with joy watching and seeing what God is doing in our life!! 

Samuel's Tree

Nate's parents bought us a tree in remembrance of Samuel.  I love the sentiment and am thankful to have this ever present reminder of a sweet and special baby that almost came home to us. 

3 Days

We are coming down to it.  Nate leaves on Saturday.  3 DAYS FROM NOW!  We bounce between, excitement, anxiety, frustration and busyness.

The excitement part is obvious.  We are so excited to meet James.  I can't wait to see him smile and learn what makes him smile.  I can't wait to hear his voice and his laugh.  I can't wait to feel what its like to hold him in my arms.  I can't wait to start watching him grow bigger and stronger.  I can't wait to see what God has planned for his life.

The anxiety part is a little more complicated.  There are still so many unknowns.  What really is the extent of his medical condition?  Will he like us? What if our paperwork isn't all in order?  What if we forgot to do something?  What if there are unexpected fees or procedures that we missed? What if Nate get's sick while he is there?  Or hurt or lost?  These are few of the thoughts that have been racing through my mind and when I am not prepared they will sometimes paralyze me with fear.  I don't want to be anxious.  I want to have faith and peace and just KNOW that it will all work out.  But I'm just not there yet.  Pray for me :)

The frustration is solely due to communication, or lack there of.  The fact of the matter is, its different trying to communicate with someone on the other side of the world.  I can't just pick up the phone or write an email and get my questions answered.  Sometimes phones are disconnected or the reception is poor.  Sometimes they don't have internet or electricity on the Liberian side of things so that delays thing.  It's just so frustrating to not know everything I need to know when I want to know it.  But it has taught me patience and how to give up control and that's a good thing.

And busyness... so much busyness.  We live in a busy world, so this is nothing new, but I seem to have reached a whole new level of busyness.  So much to pack and buy and do.  But this is just a short season of and it will be completely and totally worth it!!!!

So, if all goes as planned, Nate will be leaving Minnesota at 3:22pm on Saturday.  I am not sure how much communication I will have with him while he is gone, but I will update as I hear from him!!

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support.

Christina

This Is For Real Folks!

The plane ticket has been purchased!  This is for real now!  Nate will be leaving for Liberia on June 22nd and arriving home on July 1st.  21 days from now James will be HERE!!!

Airfare was a little bit more then we anticipated.  We knew James was almost two, but we thought his birthday was a little later in the summer.  It turns out the little guy will be two on the 16th, which ended up being a $2000 bummer because now we need to buy him an airplane seat.  If he was under two, he could have been on Nate's lap, which would have been a little cramped, but MUCH cheaper :)

We continue to trust God that this process will go smoothly.  We would like to ask for continued prayers for James and his health, that there would be no red tape or additional paperwork that needs to be done and that God will provide the needed money.  We are praying that the US Embassy in Liberia will be easy to work with and that there won't be any surprises.   

I honestly can't believe that I will be a mother of four in just a few weeks.  Words can not express how anxious I am to meet my little boy!  

What The What?

My brain is spinning.  I don't even know where to start.  Got a call that they want us in Liberia on June 22nd!!!  What the what???  Already??!!

Everything went through so fast because they were able to transfer all of the immigration stuff and court stuff from Samuel to James.

We found this out about 2 hours ago.  So much to do!  Travel plans!  House preparations!

Once my head stops spinning I will post more details!

Fresh Hope For A New Beginning

It has been three weeks now since Samuel died.  It has been a long three weeks and we have learned a lot about ourselves and our amazing family and friends.  We have spent A LOT of time praying and pondering and discussing how we want to move forward from here.  We were not planning on adopting from Liberia.  Two months ago it was a completely foreign idea to us, but now that we have had our hearts open to it, we can't NOT do this!

So that brings us to little James.  James is associated with the same orphanage Samuel was.  He is almost two years old.  About two months ago, he accidentally ingested caustic soda and destroyed his esophagus so he is not able to eat.  He has a feeding tube placed and currently receives Ensure as his nutrition.  Nate and I have decided that we want to bring this sweet little boy into our family.

So we start again with a fresh hope and excitement!  We are a little more tentative and guarded this time, but we are thanking and praising God for everything he places in our lives!

We aren't really sure what the timeframe will be on this.  We don't have to gather any paperwork, as they can use our paperwork that we had already collected for Samuel's adoption.  The process is already underway in Liberia.  So now we wait!

We feel so blessed that Samuel will always be a part of our family's story, even though it was for a very short time.  I think it is amazing that a little 14 month old boy in Africa was so loved by so many that never met him.  I know that many of you shed actual real tears of sadness over his death and that you grieved with us.  Thank you for your open hearts and your love.

So if you are ready, here is little James... another boy to fall in love with.

We Don't Have The Privilege

This picture doesn't do justice to the beautiful luminaries our friends lovingly made and placed on our driveway.  It was amazing reading all the messages and seeing the sweet pictures that decorated them.  It is truly wonderful how all of this support helps with the healing.

The initial immense shock and disbelief has worn off.  We know that we will never get to meet Samuel this side of heaven.  But we know that he doesn't need us anymore!  He is fully healed and restored!  

We know that God is good and he can bring joy from the sadness!

"In Africa, we don't have the privilege of crying too long, there are always more children that need us."

These were words that were written to us by Samuel's orphanage's director.  Their everyday life consists of stories of children sick and dying.  They must carry on and continue to serve those that they can.  God has opened our hearts to special needs adoption in Liberia  and we need to pray about how we can carry on and continue to serve those that we can.

Thank You All

I just want to say thank you to everyone for all of their support.  The phone calls, texts, facebook messages, flowers and meals were so so sweet.

This is such an odd thing to grieve.  It's a bizarre situation to be in.  All I can do is liken it to a miscarriage.  I've never had one, but it seems like it is similar.  Samuel was our child, but we hadn't met him yet.  We were certain that he would be coming home to us soon, but we had never held him in our arms.  We had prepared for him and purchased things for him.  We had dreamed about watching him grow up healthier and stronger.  But now those things won't be used by him and we won't get to hold him or watch him grow.  It leaves a strange hole.  We loved him, but we don't have any memories with him.

The couple that originally told us about Samuel is leaving for Liberia tomorrow.  They knew Samuel, had met him and were so excited for him to have found a family.  I can't imagine how devastated they must feel to know they won't be able to see the sweet little guy.

So for now we are going to just sit in our odd situation of grief and praise God for all of our wonderful friends and family.  Thanks for taking this little journey with us.

Very Sad News

It is with great shock and sadness that we bring you this update on our little boy Samuel.

We received a call this morning from the orphanage director that little Samuel died last night.  The shunt he had placed in December malfunctioned.  It is our understanding that it began to drain too much fluid, which ultimately led to him passing in to a coma and dying a short time later.

We are devastated and don't know how to process this information.  We did learn that the Liberian courts had named us his legal guardians before he passed away.  For some reason, that brings us comfort.

Thank you all very much for all of your love and prayers and support during this crazy month in our lives.  It has honestly meant so much to us.

We can praise God that Samuel is no longer suffering!  He is in the arms of Jesus.

I also want to thank all of you who donated financially to us.  We never ended up sending any money to Liberia, as we just received the information on where to send it last night.  So for those of you who did donate, we will be returning that money to you shortly.  Thank you again for you generosity!

So far, so good!

I didn't hear much about what happened at court today, but I did hear that it went well!  Apparently, our paperwork will now sit in the courts for a few days and be processed.  Hopefully all of our documentation will be complete and correct.  It is my understanding that after it is processed, we will then be legal guardians of Samuel according to the Liberian courts.

Then we have to get things processed with U.S. immigration so they will allow us to bring him into the country.  We filled out some paperwork today pertaining to that and emailed it to Liberia.  That paperwork will be filed at the U.S. Embassy in Liberia where we will hopefully be able to obtain a visa for Samuel.

Once all of this is completed then Nate can buy his plane ticket!!

I want to say a huge thank you to one of Nate's co workers!  You know who you are! I was feeling very discouraged and overwhelmed by this process today and your gift really made a huge difference in my mood!  God bless you!

Going to Court!

I woke up this morning to an email from the orphanage saying they are going to court today to discuss Samuel and a few other children!  There are a few more documents that I need to gather, but nothing that seems too complicated.  Please pray that everything at court goes well today!!

Thank you!!!

Just Waiting...

It was all so exciting the last two weeks as we raced around town getting our paperwork together.  Gathering doctor's notes, criminal clearances, employment verification, letters of recommendation, tax returns, birth certificates, marriage record... the list goes on!  So much to do!  It was a thrilling whirlwind of activity!  And now the paperwork has been submitted and we wait...

It would be laughable, though, for us to complain about the wait!  I mean, like seriously, laugh out loud, roll on the floor, hysterically ridiculous of us.  There are so many people who have been sitting in international adoption limbo for YEARS!  People have spent thousands of dollars, poured their heart into an unpredictable process, dotted all of their "I"s and crossed all of their "T"s and they continue to wait to bring their long-awaited children home. Yet, we find ourselves getting impatient after one week, how silly is that?  It is just so hard to look at Samuel's sweet little face and not want him in our arms RIGHT NOW.

When it does come time for us to bring him home, it has been decided that Nate will be the one to travel and I will stay home with the kids.  Nate is much more up to this adventurous trip and I am....not.  I am very thankful to have a husband who is willing to travel half way around the world with a baby all by himself!  He is amazing!

We are gearing up to send our first payment to the orphanage on Wednesday.  We continue to trust God to provide the finances.  My God is a big God, a really big God and that's all I need to know right now.

Christina

The Money Post

So, I wanted to clarify about our donation button on the blog here....  Nate and I have not been huge fans of adoption fundraising.  There is nothing wrong with it necessarily, but that was just not part of how we funded our first adoption.  Sure, we received some generous monetary gifts and we were very grateful for them, but we didn't actively seek them out.  We felt it was our decision to adopt and therefore, our responsibility to pay for it.  Also, we weren't creative enough to come up with any of the wonderful, fun ideas people have for adoption fundraising!!

This time, we have decided to put it out there.  To humble ourselves and ask for help.  Mainly, because we weren't planning on this.  Seriously, this sweet, adorable boy fell into our laps overnight.  I am totally in awe of how this has all happened!  

I know there are people who have asked how they can help.  Prayers and encouragement are immeasurably valuable to us!  Please, keep them coming!  And for those of you who want to help financially, you would be an answer to prayer.  But please, only give financially if it is something you really want to do.  We don't ever want anyone to feel pressure to give or feel that they have to give because they know us.  We all have different roles to play in life.  We all have different ways that we give.  

Thanks so much for everything!!!

Christina

A New Outfit

We got word today that the social worker at the orphanage has started to process our paperwork.  We really have no idea how long this process is going to take, but we are trying not to be anxious about that.  It is completely out of our hands right now and all we can do is wait!  Adoptions in Liberia are closed, except for special needs adoptions, so there is not a big back up in the courts like there are in some countries.  The director of the orphanage has already spoken to a judge there and has been told that they will expedite the case as best they can.  Also, we are not completing the entire adoption process at this point, but are becoming his legal guardians.  That is the quickest way to get him here and then we can complete the adoption process here in the States.

In terms of medical prognosis and what he will need for care, we really won't know that until he comes home.  We know that he can't sit up, roll or crawl due to the weight of his head, but that he does kick his arms and legs around and is very responsive to people.  We just want to get him home as quickly as possible so we can get him the therapy and care that he needs!

When we were out shopping yesterday, the kids decided we needed to buy Samuel an outfit.  Amazingly, they all agreed on the same one... that never happens :)

We so appreciate all of your support and encouragement!!

How This All Came To Be

After being blessed with our first two children biologically, we (Nate and Christina) knew we wanted  to build the remainder of our family through adoption.  We welcomed our third child in November 2008 from Ethiopia.  He has been such an amazing gift and we can not imagine our lives without him!  We knew at some point we would love to adopt one more, but we were not sure how or when.  However, as our youngest child approached 5, we thought it was time to find that fourth child!

Our family became licensed to be foster parents last December. The plan, in our minds, was to provide a home for foster children, with the intent to eventually adopt.  We have been patiently waiting to have a child placed in our home, but since December, we have only received 2 calls from our social worker for placement.  Both of them being when we were on vacation in Florida!

Again, it was OUR plan to provide foster care and our plans are not always God’s plans!

About three weeks ago while teaching a class at Crown College, I found out that one of my students was traveling to a Liberian orphanage in May for a short term missions trip. I shared with this student about our adoption from Ethiopia and how we feel such a burden in our hearts for the orphans in Africa.  The student responded shortly after that there was a young boy in Liberia who was in need of immediate adoption. 

I spoke with Christina about the situation that night, and we both felt a peace from God that we should take the next steps to find out more about this boy. We experienced a shared feeling of God’s leading. With a strong tug on our hearts, and a bit of nervousness, we decided to move forward and trust God would pull all the pieces together if it was meant to be.

This brings us to Samuel’s story.  Samuel was born deep in the jungle, in Gewdru, which is in Grand Gedeh County in Liberia. Samuel entered this world with hydrocephalus; a condition which causes a buildup of fluid in the head. As Samuel’s head began to grow, the pressure on his birth-mother to abandon him in the forest increased.  Often, in that region of Liberia, if a child is born with a condition that is uncommon, he or she is considered to have evil spirits and is rejected by the tribe.  Fortunately, in Samuel’s case, the human rights division of the UN referred the child to an orphanage and airlifted him there.

Samuel had a shunt placed in his body in December of 2012, but needs further treatment not available in Liberia.  Samuel is very responsive and is fully aware of his world around him.  He appears to have normal intelligence and enjoys playing with objects.  He loves music and to be held.  

So in the last two weeks we have gathered and emailed all the paperwork requested by the orphanage.  Samuel has already been approved for adoption and this could all move very very quickly.

 We’re excited, and hopeful that it will all work out. God is a God of love, and a God of miracles. We trust this will happen. We believe it will happen soon. We appreciate your prayers for little Samuel, and for the entire opportunity.

The orphanage gave us permission to post pictures of the little man, so here he is! 

We will keep you all updated as this progresses!  Thank you all for your love and support!!