I also want to point out that I know it had to have been difficult for Christina, stuck in Minnesota, with no way to help me in my attempts to secure a visa for James. She was a constant support via text and phone during my two week "vacation" while taking care of our three busy children.
Normally, Christina is the one to write these posts but given the fact that I was the one in Liberia, we thought it'd be good for me to write a note.
I feel like I could write a book after this experience, but for your sake I'll try and highlight the key questions people have been asking:
Q: Why was James not allowed to come back with me?
A: His visa was denied (twice). While I was extremely hurt and upset with the U.S. embassy employee who denied it, I've since learned that it was a blessing in disguise that he made the decisions he did. I was informed yesterday that had Jame's tourist/medical visa been approved, it would have made it much more difficult for us to eventually adopt him. How horrible would that have been? The embassy could not legally or ethically approved the visa we were attempting to get. There was no way to prove he would be coming to the U.S., without intent to help him immigrate to our country.
Q: Why would the adoption agency have directed us to come to Liberia and attempt to bring James back under this type of Visa, when it would have ruined our chances of adopting him?
A: I believe there was some major misunderstanding in the info that was communicated to the legal rep for the agency. This was the first time the agency tried to go this route with adoption. I don't believe they had any bad motives - I just think there were some communication issues.
Q: Would I, Nate, do this trip/experience over again, had I known it would not work out?
A: Yes! While it was heartbreaking and horrible coming home without James, knowing his need for medical care, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to bond with him. To go from the first couple days, when he didn't want to be near me - to the final days, when he laughed with me, cried with me, insisted on sleeping next to me in bed (instead of the pack and play), etc - it was something I will never forget. I thank God for allowing me to bond with James, meet his birth mom, and experience the country and culture he comes from. I wish, of course, there had been some way I could have known the visa would not work out - this would have saved me a ton of stress while in Liberia - but again - had I known - I probably would not have traveled, and bonded with him.
Q: The U.S. embassy says on their website that Liberia is dangerous. Was it?
A: No. The Liberian men and women, (and children) I met were some of the nicest people you could ever meet. I walked the streets after dark more than once, and did not feel the least bit nervous. Traffic was often horrible, but no one got mad at each other. My entire time there, I only saw people angry with eachother on two occasions. One of those was in the midst of a traffic accident. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was the way everyone - and I mean everyone - would stop and stare at me when I was out walking. It was a bit creepy.
Q: Did you get sick?
A: No! I ate a number of things Americans are advised not to eat (e.g. fish, lettuce, water) and never once felt the least bit ill.
Q: How were the mosquitos?
A: I've been bitten 5 times since arriving home (including once while typing this blog entry). In Liberia - only once!
Q: What was James like?
A: He is strong willed! Despite his inability to talk (due to his injury) he does not hesitate to make it known one way or another when he , wants or needs something. He is handsome, and serious. He is shy, but will shake hands with strangers. He likes sugar (especially lollipops and sugar cubes). He likes to cuddle, and be held. He also loves stroller rides along the beach. I got a glimpse of his humor, my last day in Liberia. I put some headphones on and pretended to dance. He tipped his head back and laughed a broken laugh, clapping his hands.
Q: What was James initial response when meeting me?
A: He didn't want to be near me. He cried. He was upset. I was a scary looking white guy!
Q: What are the next steps?
A: We will be pursuing the adoption route. Our local senators will be helping us speed up the process. As to when we expect the process to be complete, we are not sure. I'm hoping by the end of summer. Please pray for us!
Q: How can you help?
A: Prayer is always greatly appreciated, and our #1 request. Now that we will have to go back to Liberia again, soon, that adds added expenses
Q: Highlights in Liberia?
A: I'll type those up in my next blog entry! James was the biggest, of course!
Thank you everyone for your prayers. I often felt like it was a spiritual battle. I don't believe Satan wants this awesome little man to join our family, or get the medical care he needs. I felt your prayers, and experienced cool things like seeing a gross infection around James' feeding tube completely disappear within 24 hours. It's nice to be home, and tough to be away from James...
God bless.
Nate
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