Sadness

I was able to speak with orphanage staff today.  They didn't really have any new details for me, but I needed to ask them to basically repeat our conversation from yesterday, as I really don't remember anything she told me.

Last week, Monday, James was throwing up a little bit. They did call and tell us about this, but at that time they had been feeding him a chocolate flavored Ensure that they thought may be upsetting his stomach.  Later that day, James pulled his tube out and was brought into the hospital to have it replaced and then sent home.
Wednesday he started vomiting again, they brought him in to the hospital and were told that he was fine and likely had a touch of the flu.

He seemed better, but Sunday night he started vomiting again and his nanny noticed drainage and blood seeping from around his feeding tube. She also said he just wasn't acting right.  They brought him in around 4am and hospital agreed to keep him for observation.  Orphanage staff found out that when his tube was replaced on Monday, the hospital had not had the right sized tube and had to place a smaller tube in.

Orphanage staff left around 8am to attend a meeting and then returned at 11am and stayed for about a half an hour. They said he seemed weak and sick, but was alert and smiled and didn't seem like he was in that bad of shape.  At 1pm the hospital called them and said he had died.  They didn't have a reason, they just said he had failed and died.  No bizarre drainage, no bleeding, nothing outwardly wrong.  He just died.

Thank you so much for your support.  The texts, emails, calls, flowers, meals and love are overwhelmingly generous.  We know we are not going through this alone.  Ultimately, we need to continue to place our faith in Jesus and continue to hope for His love to cover this often sad world.

Oh Heaven Help Us

I can't articulate this well, but just need to lay out the facts so you know.

I received a call from the orphanage director.  James passed away today.  We knew that he had been vomiting the past couple of days, but it had been thought that it was a certain flavor of Ensure they had been giving him.

It turns out it must have been something different.  He was brought into the hospital, but there really wasn't much they can do and we don't know for sure what happened.  I wasn't in a great state of mind when I heard the details.  I will be talking to orphanage staff again when I am in a better place to process things and will hopefully know more then.

Reality is, that this is what happens in third world countries.  FOR REAL, THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN DIE EVERYDAY FROM THINGS THAT WE CAN FIX WITH A SIMPLE TRIP TO A CLINIC OR URGENT CARE.  It's just not fair and it totally stinks.

Nate and I are so thankful that he got to spend time with James in Liberia.  You would think that would make it harder since Nate bonded with him, but somehow it makes it MUCH easier.

I almost wish I hadn't started this blog so that people wouldn't be following our story and wouldn't have to feel this sadness.  Thanks for loving us.